No Confidence

Seriously!

I don't have any confidence with myself

I don't even believe in myself

What I am actually for?

I am INSECURE

I'm not confident with whatever I did

This is me!

Why?

Because I'm AFRAID

I'm afraid of others' perceptions towards what I'm doing

Especially when I was given  chances to talk

Like in Susan class

I feel afraid to speak 

In fact, I'm trembling

Because I'm not confident with myself

Because I'm not good like others

Because when I speak, it isn't what I'm meant to 

So, I rather prefer to be passive

So, it is good to just zip my mouth

But WATCH OUT PEEPS!

Dont be like me

You all should be better than me                                       

Far better than me

I don't know since when I lose my confidence

At birth, MAYBE

So, WHAT should I DO?

Read motivating books?

Or me, myself build my own confidence?

HOW should I DO?

Believe in myself?

I know I can do it?

Forget people's perceptions?

Sshhhh

Of all, none is valid

So what?

Ah-Ha

Seek Allah

You'll find the answer

Read Al-Quran

You're half way for it

Afraid Allah

You're not afraid of anything except Allah

You're not afraid to do anything except Allah

You're not afraid to speak in public because You're afraid of Allah

Now, you're brave

Now, you're confident

Now, you'll find your way!

Be CONFIDENT with yourself!

p/s: Let's perform our prayers early

  

MasyaAllah! Sejuk yg amat

Hr ni check suhu cuaca
dh mencecah negatif
-8 degree
Ya ampun!
ptt la sejuk smpi menggigil2
walhal dh msuk bln 2
slalunya klu dh smpi bln 2 tu winter dh nk smpi ke penghujung die la
tp kali ni berbeza sekali
Kini winter berada di kemuncaknya!
Di mana salji diramalkan akn  turun dlm masa terdekat ni
Wallahua'lam
Memandangkan suhu dh mencecah negatif n brlaku bnyk froze di jalan2 n sekeliling,
Si salju seolah olah membuat 'teaser' sebelum dirinya 'debut' =)
Salju pun ibarat seperti artis kpop yg digilai ramai jgk...hihi
Yg dinantikan oleh penduduk alam utk menikmati kehadirannya
'Teaser' kali ni mmg umphhh.... Sejuk yg amat!
Hanya menantikan 'debut' utk menghangatkan alam ini
Ye la, bla salji dh turun, cuaca x la sesejuk mcm sekarang ni
Ok, nk pasang blower skarang! =)

Weariness

Tired!
Moving to and fro between Kedah & Perak is really worn out
Plus my flight back to England is juz left a few days to go
Phew!! I think I'm gonna build my muscles bcoz it does appear when I see my shoulder
Dun say I'm like the Incredible Hulk @__@


Hoho I'm no more femininity! ;)

PIMPLES!

People who recognize me
They will remember my pimples as well
Yes! u can see different types of pimples with different shapes on my face
That troubles me since ages ago
That makes me ashamed to meet people
And that I met someone who love me till now
He a.k.a Mr.A
I've ever asked him, "Why do u still love me who have fully-acne face and reddish around?"
                               "What do ur eyes see me?"

p/s: the questions above really kill... @__@
He then answered, "I love u bcoz I love Allah and Allah see me when I see u"
What a twisted sentence I would say.. =)
That makes me to think of " is our love relationship valid enough in front of Allah?"
And there goes our PLAN

To be continued...
                             

Unconsciousness

Sometimes...

My actions are not triggered by my brain, even when I'm speaking

Then a question pops into my head, " is this bcoz of unconscious mind? "

Probably, YES! 

Bcoz a thing happens when I never intend to do it

For instance, I set in my mind that I will not do that thing again

But all of sudden, I really do it without any forces or intentions

Is this unconsciousness is controlled by other forces?

I realised that the unconscious mind is influenced by satan or our passions

Unless we have strengths to overcome the forces

What are the strengths?

Definitely our IMAN !

I believe that if we secure our IMAN, 

I'm pretty sure that we can fully recharge our strengths to defend ourselves from all  those detrimental forces 

Apology

Salam Ramadhan... =)

Dear All,

I wanna say sorry to you all bcoz I have been ignoring my blog for months with no excuses
Bcoz I'm so lazy to type the keyboard and don't have any prompts to write about
But now I wanna get back my enthusiasm in blogging so that I didn't spend my holy-days with sleeping 24/7
Yes! I spend most of my time with sleeping despite my mum always nags me not to sleep a lot!
The outcome is I've gained weight (d0n't want to mention the kilos)
Oh no, the lipo had accumulated on that spotted area!
I found my chin flabby!
I'm getting fat now
This is why I started to care about my blog so that I can avoid sleeping almost all the time and getting FAT!
I hate it, really!

That could be me now! :'(

Jangan Takut Jadi Tua

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

ALRIGHT! Kali ni aku nk taip pasal orang tua2 pulak... 
Anyway, korang rs korang dh tua ke belum? 
Aku pulak aku masih di awal remaja...ooOOPPSS BAJET!!! kikiki eh x de la... aku pun bkn lg belasan tahun dh pun... 
Dh masuk angka 2 dh pun.. tp BARU masuk ok! i repeat BARU masuk ok! kira aci la kan klu aku ckp aku masih di awal remaja...=) 
Ok lah... pape pun klu Allah masih panjangkan umur kita utk hidup kt bumi ini, yg pastinya kita akan jadi orang tua jgk nnti... 
If pakai krim hilangkan kedut, cucok botox sana sini, cocok susuk, puja patung n bela hantu x akan menjamin korang semua utk tampak kekal muda... 
Last2, bila masuk kubur nnti, siap la korang nk kena soal ngn mungkar n nakir! itu pun kalau diterima tanah...nauzubillah... Kita sbagai umat islam ni prlu brsyukur dgn apa yg kita ada... ok aku ckp utk diri sniri jgk ye..=)
x prlu nk stress2 or tension klu orang ckp korang nmpak tua or korang rs tua ke coz itu mmg fitrah manusia yg inginkan kecantikan or kesempurnaan... 
korang anggap yg korang 1 hari nnti pun akan tua jgk, so lbh baik nmpk tua awal2 sbb nnti korang x kan trguris hati di kemudian hari bla rakan2 korang yg dh lama x jumpa hmpir x kenal korang sbb dulu korang muda, tp skunk dh nmpk ketuaan skit... 
so ape yg aku ingin ckpkan ialah biar nmpak tua awal2 supaya tidak menyesal di kemudian hari hari..kikiki ttrreettt!!! 
sory2 aku hanya brgurau saje, x brniat utk menggalakkan korang sume supaya jadi tua cpt2... 
aku bkn ape, aku nk ingatkan korang sume bahawa x perlu la nk susah payah nk sentiasa nmpak muda n cantik dgn make-up tebal2 n pakai contact lens sbb nk bg mata berpinar2 nmpk mcm mata anak patung tp klu yg betul2 rabun tu mybe ur choice la nk plih colour ape pun...=)
 ok! aku mengaku aku pun layan jgk chic stuff ni tp aku rs x prlu la nk tebai2 sgt... juz tempek bedak n lip balm klu x nk nmpk bibir tu menggelupas or pucat.. 
or klu bulu kening korang nipis mcm aku, touch up la skit kt kening tu.. nnti x la orang ingt korang cukur kening smpi licin... 
dulu aku rajen la jgk touch up kt kening tu tp skunk rs mcm x prlu sgt bnda tu sume... juz tunjukkan muka asal korang... 
aku ni dh la brjerawat kt sekililing muka n slalu tumbuh plak tu tp aku usaha la jgk nk buang jerawat tu dgn pki mcm2 produk coz rupa paras kita melibatkan tahap keyakinan kita utk brhadapan ngn orang ramai.. korang nk ke bla korang brcakap or present sumthing kt dpn orang rmi, tp dowang sempat pulak main kira2 kt muka korang yg brjerawat mcm aku ni... so yg kulit licin tu x kisah la klu korang nk amek berat ke tak coz  korang yg muka licin x prlu nk care sgt tp klu jenis kulit muka sensitif mcm aku trpaksa la jd prihatin la skit coz nk kena pki toner la, lps tu nk kna pki moisturizer la... 
itu lah rutin harian aku utk hilangkan jerawat yg slalu naik ni... tgk!! bla belek2 muka aku lg, sedar2 ada jerawat lg... ini msti disebabkan minyk yg trkumpul kt kwsn yg naik jerawat tu... 
see!! kulit aku jenis oily so mmg kena pamper muka aku slalu...
(pot-pet pot pet  =.= )

OK! brbalik pd kisah jadi tua td.. kita x yah brsusah payah utk elak nmpk tua.. juz ambik air semayang je slalu n amalkan suruhan Allah.. ye la x kan keje amek air semayang je tp semayang wat sambil lewa je... semayang tu wajib.. klu x semayang, dosa tau!! cuba korang bayangkan bla korang meninggal dunia n x sempat solat bla dh masuk waktu... confirm la slps 7 langkah orang yg ziarah kubur korang pulang meninggalkan korang ketika pengebumian korang, korang akan diajukan soalan yg prtama di kubur iaitu solat... so pengajarannye solat la di awal waktu... ini pun peringatan utk aku jgk..=)
Bkn ape, korang ingt x lg lagu Raihan tajuknye 'Demi Masa' - "Ingt 5 perkara, sebelum 5 perkara" n dlm lagu tu la tersenarai 5 sebelum 5 tu iaitu: 

sihat sebelum sakit

MUDA SEBELUM TUA

kaya sebelum miskin

lapang sebelum sempit

hidup sebelum mati

Sebenarnya lagu tu merujuk hadis nabi yg diriwayatkan Imam Hakim dalam kitab al-Mustadrak n berkaitan jugak dgn surah Al-Asr yg menegaskan mengenai masa...

Lihatlah! nabi pun mmg pesan kt kita pasal 5 sebelum 5 ni... n aku ingin highlightkan bahwa dlm 5 perkara tu ada jgk dipesankan MUDA SEBELUM TUA... 
Dari situ lah aku ingin kaitkan dgn entry aku kali ni psl orang tua2...
Sebelum kita tua, semestinya kita akn melalui zaman muda x kira sesiapa pun...
Sebelum kita tua, apa yg kita dh lakukan ketika kita ngah muda?
Haaa.. bnda ni aku nk ckp kt diri aku jgk ni... 
Ketika kita muda lah kita kena siapakan bekalan kita sebelum kita jd orang tua2
Apakah bekalan itu?
Sesungguhnya bekalan itu adalah ilmu2 yg kita tuntut iaitu fadhu ain n kifayah supaya bila kita jd orang tua nnti, kita sudah perlengkapkan diri kita dgn segala ilmu trsebut n dpt jawab soalan2 mungkar n nakir di dalam kubur dgn cemerlangnya sebelum kita persembahkan amalan2 kita di hadapan allah s.w.t nnti insya allah...
So bila kita jd orang tua2 or rs tua, kita kena sentiasa beringat bahawa kita makin dekat ngn kematian... tp yg masih muda tu jgn la rs masih jauh lg dgn kematian coz allah akan cabut nyawa manusia tanpa mengira umur sbb ajal n maut dh ditetapkn di loh mahfuz or "papan tulis" allah...
Oleh itu, perlulah kita beringat bahwa bila birthday kita makin tiba, itu bermakna kita bakal menjadi orang tua2 x lama lg n x perlulah bersedihan sedihan klu orang kategorikan kita orang tua2 sbb semua orang akan melaluinya nnti klu umur panjang...
Apa yg perlu kita bersedih sedihan ialah bla kita tanya balik diri kita, cukupkah bekalan kita bla jd orang tua2 nnti? Apa yg aku nk present kt allah nnti bla aku dh masuk kubur? 
Sesungguhnya kita akan menyesal sekiranya kita kekurangan bekalan utk menjadi orang tua2...
Sbb itu allah ciptakan kita menjadi muda sebelum tua bukannya tua sebelum muda... klu tgk crita 'the curious case of benjamin button' tu songsang skit jalan crita die sbb dlm crite tu brad pitt lahir2 je dh tua tp bila umur meningkat, dia semakin muda...

tp kita kena ingat la crita tu hanya rekaan semata-mata...
Hanya kuasa Allah yg dpt mengubah segala-galanya...
Apa yg prlu kita lakukan ketika kita masih bernafas ni adalah sentiasalah memperbaiki diri kita iaitu iman kita dgn memperbanyakkan amalan2 kebaikan n sentiasa ingt Allah n takut mati... 
INGAT! dunia ni sementara je... jgn rs menyesal klu x dpt rs nk pg bersosial2 ngn member2 sbb di akhirat nnti kita bebas lakukan apa saja dgn nikmat allah yg kekal abadi selamanya di situ...
So bersusah2 dulu, bersenang2 kemudian...=)

Wallahuallam...